I’ve never got to bottom of why mackerel should be the chosen word, and I’m even keener to know who conceived the question in the first place, especially if he (it was surely a he; women are more dignified) is also the person who worked out that the mackerel test applies to only one London Underground station. Whereas The Magnificent Seven were Buchholz, Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn, Charles Bronson and – the only name that eluded me – Brad Dexter. Incidentally, fellow fans of Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights will recall the same question being asked at The Phoenix Club quiz night, and the camera cutting to the two bouncers, Max and Paddy, who were standing in the doorway listening to the questions over the Tannoy system and confidently ticking off the names of The Magnificent Seven: “Sleepy, Dopey, Happy…”Trivia and comedy are easy bedfellows, to wit the old question about the only three football clubs with rude words in their names: Arsenal, Scunthorpe United and effing Man U. And is there anything which lends itself more readily to trivia questions than sport? At the dinner table a few weeks ago I was asked whether I could name five golfers with the letter Z in their names who have won major championships.

If you’re really stuck, I’ll allow up to five performers from sports other than football, such as Andre Agassi, Boris Becker, Colin Cowdrey, or even, because it’s so nice and topical, Freddie Flintoff.Yes, quiz season is back, sporadically in this column and weekly in various pubs I know. Taking Didier Drogba as your candidate for D – rather than Damien Duff, Didier Deschamps, Derek Dougan or Davie Dodds – how many letters can you think of which begin both the first and second names of a footballer, past or present? The person who gets nearest to 26 names, on the assumption that Q and especially X could be a struggle, will get a bottle of something alcoholic, but I promise it won’t be Double Diamond. At the usual pre-match selection meeting one week, the first XI captain – a droll Ulsterman called Tom Kirkpatrick – told the gathering that Barry would be unavailable for Wednesday’s crunch game against the University of Dundee because he had injured his knee. “And what’s worse,” added Tom, with mock solemnity, “it’s his goalscoring knee.”
I can imagine Jose Mourinho saying the same thing in a press conference about Didier Drogba, who, having missed every opportunity with his feet, finally steered the ball past Jens Lehmann with his patella.Yet it is not Drogba’s goalscoring knee on which I wish to dwell this week, but his name.

Barry was a forward, who rarely scored goals from more than a yard out, and rarely with a conventional part of his anatomy. The defender is out for six weeks and will miss the second part of his battle with club-mate Ryan Giggs on the left side of the Wales midfield.Eriksson could choose Neville’s brother Phil as a direct replacement although he may go for the Liverpool centre-back Jamie Carragher. While neither player are right-backs for their club sides, there will be a case for Phil Neville marking Giggs, a player he knows well from his time at Manchester United.. The name Barry Kinghorn will mean little to most of you, but it was Barry, a dour Scot with whom I occasionally played football at St Andrews University 20-odd years ago, who lurched into my mind during last Sunday’s Chelsea v Arsenal match. Should Parker convince the England manager that he is worthy of inclusion in the squad, and if Gerrard fails to overcome his injury, then it will be the Newcastle man or Owen Hargreaves in competition for the defensive midfield place.
Apart from the doubts over Gerrard’s fitness – he withdrew from Liverpool’s squad for last night’s European Super Cup match against CSKA Moscow but still hopes to be fit for the match in Cardiff – there is only the question of who will play instead of the injured Gary Neville at right-back. The England manager will be on Tyneside tomorrow afternoon to monitor the progress of Parker, 24, as he contemplates facing Wales on 3 September without Steven Gerrard who is battling against a calf problem. He’s as happy having a beer and a chat with his mates as he is playing Test cricket against Australia.”Sometimes the concept of sportsmen as role models is not so daft..

Scott Parker will be hoping to save the skin of his new Newcastle manager Graeme Souness when he faces Manchester United at St James’ Park tomorrow, but the midfielder will also know that an impressive display might just advance his England prospects with Sven Goran Eriksson in the stands. “He has the qualities that players respond to and he leads by example. He also really thinks about the game and what he is doing out there. It will be interesting to see where his future takes him in the game, but I guess he wouldn’t make too many noises about it because he is such a humble guy.”I just love him He’s so good for cricket, and he is a great man. Marsh, who knows better than most the requirements, having kept wicket to the great Australian team of Dennis Lillee and the Chappell brothers, then swapped sides to develop young English talent, believes Flintoff is a future captain.”He would make a great captain because the players would want to follow him,” Marsh said.

He was also dragged reluctantly into celebritydom but, though he does television advertising, has managed to retain much of his privacy, popularity and sanity.It is to be hoped Flintoff does too English cricket needs him if it is to build on this revival. The current burst of publicity is analogous to that enjoyed by the oval-ball code around England’s World Cup triumph. Wilkinson was the Flintoff of that team, a homespun matchwinner. For Flintoff being able to get a table at The Ivy will be no compensation.This, in the celebrity-fixated culture of England is probably unavoidable What is within Flintoff’s control is the extent of his fame. He has Rachael and Holly’s names tattooed on his arms, but he is no David Beckham He does not seek the spotlight. Last week he went to France because, he explained: “It was difficult to get away from the Ashes in Manchester, but in France they are not bothered.”The exemplar is Jonny Wilkinson Cricket is not the new football, it is the new rugby union.